CRIME SCENE

Just a short blog today because I'm in the middle of moving. Yes, we are going back up to a new area in North Georgia. It'll be closer to relatives and my doctors. Much as we love our island, we're tired of 6 hour trips each way, every two or three months to get my eyes attended to. So we're moving closer.

The local paper had a few interesting items this week, besides people getting picked up for DUI or outstanding warrants.

A woman got bit on her finger when she tried to pull an attacking pit bull off her dog. Neighbors intervened and held the pit bull until Animal Control arrived.  Brave neighbors!

People called police when they saw a man punching a pregnant woman in the face. Police arrived but the woman was uncooperative. Police found she had a Florida arrest warrant out on her and would have taken her to jail except she complained of stomach pains. I'd take a hospital to jail any time!

Someone reported a man riding a lawn mower and wielding a shotgun. He was also throwing rocks. And he was drunk. He got carted off for disorderly conduct. I can't help wondering how he managed to wield a shotgun and throw rocks at the same time. 

A woman called police when she saw a man lying in her front yard. Police determined he was unconscious and intoxicated. Since he was too drunk to walk, they gave him a ride home. Hmmm. Easier for him than calling a taxi, I guess!

A man called police when he heard a loud bang. Police discovered the cause: another man was crashing his bicycle into a parked vehicle. He got arrested for DUI. So he thought he was sober enough to ride a bicycle, huh? Guess he learned different. Don't know if he got a ride home, too.

A family dispute "got physical." One sister was hitting her mother; the other sister called police. One sister was taken to jail. No problem figuring out which!

A naked man was sitting in a car in the parking lot of the local Walmart. He gave the police a false name. Unfortunately, that person was wanted for arrest by the city. His real name had no better history; it sent him to jail because of an outstanding warrant from Florida for drugs. Should have picked a better person to impersonate! 

Finally, an inmate of the jail was caught with two kinds of illegal drugs. He was in jail for felony theft and violating probation. Now added to those charges are two counts of giving drugs to inmates without the consent of the warden. Boy, he's determined to spend his life in jail, isn't he? And now I'm wondering: if the warden gives his consent, does that make dispensing drugs legal?

So that's all I have to share this week about the people I'll never understand.

THE LOCAL CRIME REPORT

Our local paper listed a few interesting crimes the past week besides the usual DUIs and rowdy behavior.

Police stopped a car suspected of containing drugs. Sounds like they weren't sure, but a K9 police dog took the initiative, searched the car, and did indeed find drugs. Give that dog a promotion! Maybe even put him in charge!

Police also saw a truck parked illegally outside a business. Inside, two men were up to something. Like ingesting drugs. So they got arrested, and police called the owner of the business.  I bet they told him to keep his doors locked!

A man lurking outside a residence prompted a call to police that he was wanted on an outstanding arrest warrant. When police arrived, that man was gone. But seems Alabama wanted another man at the residence so police took him in along with another guy trying to stop them (obstruction of officers). Guess the residents never heard the old saying about people in glass houses throwing stones!

Then we have a guy who'd been shot, showing up at the emergency room. Police questioned him but the article didn't say whether they found out how or why he got shot. Hmm. May have been embarrassed to confess the truth, that he was practicing quick draws and the gun went off. Or it fell out of his pocket and went off. Or he was putting it into his pocket and it went off. Or his dog stepped on the trigger and it went off. Or... I hate news that leaves you hanging!

Another item told about a couple in a car at the back of a park "making whoopee" -- wonder what that means! -- and police discovered the woman driver's license had been suspended. They gave the couple a warning citation and sent them home in a taxi. Maybe they should have sprung for a motel room.

And an item that wasn't in the local crime blotter because it happened just outside Atlanta: Attorneys for a psychiatrist accused of causing several patients to die from overdoses, petitioned the courts to relax his bond restrictions. Seems the psychiatrist wants to work while awaiting trial. ??? I don't think I'd want to go lie on his couch!

LOCAL CRIME ITEMS

Again we have a list of criminal activities taking place in our fair city. As always, there were traffic stops netting drugs and catching people with outstanding warrants. Domestic violence incidents and stolen vehicles show up, too. And there were some attempted burglaries where the burglar alarm frightened the crooks away.

A driver's bad headlight led to police stopping him. He got out and fled, scattering items as he ran. (These people watch too much TV!) The items turned out to be marijuana and naturally, he got caught.

A couple of brothers got into a fight over a video game controller and one pulled a knife on the other. Cut him, too. Luckily, the injury wasn't serious but the kniife-wielder got carted off. (Did I say these people watch too much TV?)

A thief who failed was the shoplifter accosted by security guards. He pulled a knife and escaped. Immediate police work turned him up a few blocks away and he was arrested. He might have made it if he hadn't tried to escape on a bicycle. (Bet he didn't get that idea from TV! He must have thought of it all by himself!)

And there is the case of a streetwalker getting into a car to ply her trade. When the astonished driver asked what she was doing, she told him not to worry because she wasn't a cop. They proceeded to make a deal before the driver arrested her. Turns out he was a cop. (Bad luck, eh?)

Words fail me.

CRIME ITEMS

Just a couple of things I found interesting last week.

In the local paper, a woman got arrested. Seems her daughter got into a fight with another girl at school and the woman went and got her daughter from school. Instead of going home, they waited outside the school for the other girl's mother to come out. Then the woman attacked the other mother.

Some role model, huh? And we wonder why the kids are like they are!

Besides the usual women/men fighting women/men items, the crime blotter reported the theft of a carton of beer. A man had it in the back of his pickup and it fell out. Before he cuold get out to recover it, someone swooped in, picked it up, and ran off.The driver didn't have a description of any suspects, the beer was never recovered, and no one was arrested.

Just fell out, eh? All by itself?  I'm wondering if he drank the beer and didn't want to admit it to his wife!

Then, as we were going up I-75 to north Georgia, traffic stopped about a mile from the High Falls exit. I mean, stopped! After a few minutes this GBI truck (made like a Brinks truck or SWAT team vehicle) came roaring up the middle of the interstate, siren blasting, and kept going. We began to inch along until, after nearly an hour, we made it to the exit and got off.

The holdup? Turns out they'd caught a mobile meth lab. Seems the driver fell asleep and ran the car off the road. So the HazMat people were out in force, doing whatever they do for several hours. Both people in the car were taken into custody.

So the driver fell asleep? While running a meth lab on Interstate 75? I would have thought he would have plenty of worries--and drugs--to keep him awake! And why I-75? Why not a barely-traveled road in the country somewhere? And a car? Couldn't he at least afford a van? He and his partner could have taken turns napping!

People are just plain crazy, aren't they?

CRIME COLUMN

So we had some more weird crimes reported in the local newspaper this past week: I can't help but love this paper!

First some mundane reports:

A man's ex live-in boyfriend pushed and grabbed him, then yelled at him. Maybe the ex was trying to make up.

Someone rented some stuff, then pawned it. Tsk, tsk!

A woman's daughter hit her with a cup, leaving a cut on her finger. The daughter got arrested under the family violence law. Seems she was also on probation. Wonder what she was on probation for. Assault with a coffee pot?

Another person paid an employee of a business she'd used. Only he wasn't an employee after all. I'd take the money if someone handed it to me, too!

A man refused to leave the premises after he'd been served--guess it was a restaurant?--and police had to use a stun gun to get him out. Goodness. Looks like once he got what he wanted, he would have been happy to escape.

When children hit a parked car with their kickball, the owner came out and swore. Complaints about his cursing brought the police. What? Nobody called them about the rowdy children?

A man and woman were arrested for stealing tile from a house being renovated. Police caught the woman inside, but the man ran off to a nearby business and hid. Inside the bathroom. Looks like he found himself a comfortable hide-out! Wonder if he took a magazine or book in with him.

Then some strange items:

A man complained of harassment by his drug dealer. Seems he owed the dealer money for crack cocaine. And he told this to the police?

When chickens in town made too much noise, someone called authorities. Their owner was given a warning  Guess there's no fowl play law in the city!

A couple got in an argument while cooking and someone called police, but it ended peaceably when the man walked out. Seems they had been arguing over the best way to fix chicken. Heck, if my guy said anything to me about my cooking, I'd turn the stove over to him!

I can't help but wonder if these last two problems can possibly be connected. Noisy chickens; chicken for dinner. Hmm?

CRIME BLOTTER

Oh, our local paper does have such interesting tidbits! In the last few weeks:

A car veered off the road and hit a sewer lift station, causing about five thousand dollars worth of damage. It left the scene but officers tracked it down. The owner said he'd loaned it to a woman. Hmm, likely story. Wonder if there was a problem with back-up in people's houses afterward?

Another car struck a parked car, then entered a car wash and struck the guidelines of a power pole. The driver ran off but police found the car owner. He said he loans it to the man involved in the accident on a regular basis -- in exchange for crack cocaine. Don't think I'd have told that!

Then a couple kept calling 911, using different names and giving different locations. When police traced down the house, the man said the woman wasn't there. Police found her hiding in a closet. The item said both appeared intoxicated. You think?

And this weird one: a man cut his hand on some glass and started spreading his blood on the walls and windows of a local business. Wonder if he broke the glass trying to rob the place?

Finally, someone broke into a man's apartment and stole a Templar sword and shield along with an art deco bronze statue, for a total worth of about three thousand dollars. Won't it be hard to fence something like that?

Just the usual interesting crime items. Our part of the country is never dull!

LOCAL EXCITEMENT

It's been a hard few weeks without our sweet boy cat. My girl cat is gradually getting accustomed to being on her own but she's hanging out a lot with us. And still occasionally yowling like someone's stepped on her. I think she remembers him and wonders where he is and wants him back.

But we're all getting better. The local paper is helping take our minds off our boy. Especially when the front page headline features Ben Affleck.

Yep, that Ben Affleck. Seems he was in town scouting locations for a new movie. The people he ran into who recognized him were deliriously ecstatic. He was even kind enough to allow them to take pictures with him. We, of course, weren't among the favored ones. We never hear about anything when it's happening. That's okay. We're used to being behind times and styles and whatever's going on.

Anyway, the movie is supposed to take place in Boston during the Roaring Twenties. Wow! Our town will be perfect! We have all these criminals running around like that period did!

Well, maybe slapping your boyfriend's ex or beating on your momma's door or shoplifting a steak by putting it in your pants isn't quite reminiscent of Boston back then. But I'm sure we can come up with something! After all, we're imaginative and innovative!

Pick us, Ben Affleck! Please pick us!!!

Hmmm. Does Boston have any palm trees?

CRIME BLOTTER ITEMS

Not much going on the past few weeks, but a few items caught my eye.

A man was arrested after punching a hole in an outside door column. His pregnant girlfriend said he never got physical with her but the damages amounted to about $500. If I was her, I wouldn't give him a chance to get physical with me ever again.

Someone siphoned 80 gallons of fuel from three different trucks owned by a business. Guess the thief's vehicle was bigger than all three trucks put together.

An employee saw two men loading up two 50-inch flat screen TVs they'd stolen. A responding officer tried to pull over the SUV but they jumped a curb and led police on a 2.1 mile chase until heavy rain forced the officers to call it off. Wimps!

Two karaoke speakers stored next to their owner's home were stolen. Maybe his singing was like, really bad?

Residents reported hearing gunshots in two different locations. A responding officer thought he heard shots at the first location that sounded like an automatic weapon, but shots at the second location sounded like they came from a semi-automatic weapon. No casings or damage were found in either location. I don't think I could tell one kind of weapon from another by their booms. I wonder if they're sure it wasn't backfire.

A regular customer told a bank teller he was going to kidnap her the next Friday, and for her to pack a bathing suit because they were going on an airplane to an island. The teller called the police. Wonder why I never get threats like that? Oh, wait! I live on an island already!

A woman reported a man stole $320 from her purse while she ran into a store to get a drink. When she got back, he jumped out of her vehicle and drove off in a green truck. Oh, and she didn't know the man; she was just giving him a ride. Wonder what kind of drink she was getting.

Another woman reported a man wearing a white shirt woke her up in her bedroom by grabbing her right shoulder. She started screaming and fought him off. She tried to run out of the bedroom into the living room but the door wouldn't open so she crawled out a window and watched the front door of her house. No one ever came out, but her boyfriend, who was asleep in the bed with her--all through this! Hmmm-- had to unlock the front door to get out and find help. She later told police she often sees dead people but this man was real. Because he touched her, and she never feels the spirits touch her. I wonder if she'd got her some drinks with the woman above.

And saved for the last: A man reported someone took 18 Viagra pills from his house. He suspected it was one of the men who'd recently done some work on his home. Police contacted the work crew, but they all denied stealing any pills. No kidding! Who'd expect them to admit it?

CRIME BLOTTER ITEMS

Okay, the usual from the local paper today.

A woman needed underwear and took a hundred dollars worth from the store without paying. She was arrested. (Wonder if she was wearing it. Hope they didn't restock it.)

A man was cold and stole a $250 leather jacket from another man. He was not apprehended. (Guess he's pretty warm today. Bet the owner's cold.)

A woman reported someone took $4000--yep, four thousand dollars--worth of sterling silver utensils from her residence. (Who in the world has that many silver utensils in their home? And why?)

Finally, a man stole four rib-eye steaks from a grocery store, value $67.  He was arrested. (Wonder if it was before or after he ate the steaks. Wonder if his guests knew they were eating stolen steaks. Wonder why he didn't pick up some T-bones. Wonder if he'll have to replace the steaks.)

Oh, my. This kind of reporting leads to endless conjecture. Give us the facts! All of them!

MORE CRIME BLOTTER

Love the local paper, but it's the daily crime reports I can't wait to read.

Okay, we had the report of a theft of four razor blades the other day. Now we have another report of stolen razor blades. Two packs shoplifted from a store came to a total of around ten dollars.

I'm thinking maybe people are using them to cut heroin? Or is it cocaine you cut? Not that I know anything about drugs, but really! Seems to me they could cough up ten dollars or so considering what the drugs cost!

And here's one that made me scratch my head. A man had his daughter and her boyfriend arrested after they admitted breaking into his residence and eating his chicken. Yep. Ten dollars worth. Hope it was cooked.

Then I read a little further. They also stole a blank check and cashed it for three hundred dollars.

Hey, yeah! I can see letting them have the chicken, but three hundred dollars? I'd have turned them in, too!

LOCAL CRIME SCENES

Figured it was time to talk about our local paper's crime column.

Over the weekend, we had a lot of people hitting other people for various/no reasons. Some of the hittees knew the hitters, some hitters were perfect strangers. Today's paper told about a woman being struck in the face by a man. He said she had no business being in his neighbor's house; she said she was invited. Another 'he said' 'she said' situation.

Sometimes they pull guns. Sometimes they threaten and sometimes they shoot. Yesterday an unidentified assailant shot at a car and left holes in it. No one was hurt, thank goodness.

Bikes have been taken from houses, and a lot of stores are catching shoplifters. Cosmetics, work boots, electronics, food, beer... You name it, someone wants it.

We also had someone reporting his flip flops were stolen off his porch.

Whoa! Flip flops? Who'd want to steal flip flops in this cold weather! It was 26 degrees by our outside thermometer this morning!

Makes me feel almost smart when I read about some of these criminals!

CRIME SCENE

I love our local paper, not least because it gives a list of the crimes reported in the county. Yesterday I had to shake my head in disbelief.

This guy saw someone beating up on a woman in an apartment complex parking lot. He rushed into the fray and pulled the man off the woman. The man started beating up on him but finally ran away. The police came.

Turns out the woman knew who her attacker was but refused to press charges. So now the attacker is free to come back and beat up on her some more.

Are we raising stupid people or what?

MORE LOCAL CRIME

The crime blotter keeps enthralling me. Today a couple of women heard a bunch of people outside their home and came out to see what was happening. A man struck both in the face, but neither woman knew the man's name.

And another woman had her car window broken. The pregnant woman suspects another woman pregnant by the same man. Evidently, she knew the second pregnant woman's name but still, no arrests were made.

Ah, this is as good as a soap opera. Our local newspaper can't give up its print version! These things just wouldn't read the same on the computer!

As an aside, we're off on our travels tomorrow so won't check in for a few days. Birmingham, here we come!

TIDBITS

The crime blotter in the local paper had several reports today.

A woman called police because of a loud argument. She said a woman asked a man for ten dollars. He got mad and started yelling at the woman. A second woman struck out at the first woman with her fists. A second man got into the fray and the first man swung at him. But no arrests were made. Guess the police didn't want to get involved.

In another item, a woman reported she let a male borrow her car in March. He said he'd be right back. Yep, still gone.

A third one had a man verbally abusing officers directing traffic. They took umbrage so he pushed one officer, yelling he had no problem going to jail and that he'd resist. He got his way. Wonder if he's still in jail.

This item reported police responding to calls about a fight. After telling about twenty people to disperse, they saw a woman dragging another woman by the hair toward a car. An officer told the dragger to release the draggee but she wouldn't. So she got Tasered. Three other women were given citations. Guess it was women's day out or something.

And in the final one, a man heard a gunshot and later saw the suspect walking down the street loading a shotgun. Then he fired and screamed threats. He got arrested. I should hope so!

What are these people thinking????

And to end on a rather sad note, here's my little girl-cat who's the tennis aficionado. The tennis players who were out all last week have gone home since spring break is over, and she's left to droop in the window with nothing to watch.

Poor baby. Little does she know there will soon be no more tennis courts outside her perch.

LOCAL CRIME SCENE

The local paper tells it all. Last week, we had several strange crimes. On this particular day, the headline read: MAN JAILED FOR HOT FOOD ATTACK.

I ask you. What does that mean? Did he attack hot food? Was he a greedy food sucker-upper? Nope. Seems he actually threw the hot food at someone. That someone called the cops and he got arrested for simple battery.

The same day, a man reported his ex-wife struck him several times. Don't know why he didn't make a run for it, but he didn't. She also got arrested for simple battery.

And also on that day, a shoplifter was caught exiting Walmart with a pair of boots in his pants. Hmmm. Like someone wouldn't notice a pair of boots stuffed down his breeches?

I'll end with a crime committed a few days earlier. A man was arrested for shoplifting. This guy hid an MP3 player in his pants. Unfortunately, his pants were so baggy, they tripped him up as he tried to make his escape. He got arrested, too.

Oh, I love these local crime reports!

LOCAL CRIME NEWS

Noticed where one woman hit another with her coffee mug. There was a witness so the suspect got arrested.  The coffee must really have been bad.

And someone broke into a house yesterday. They carefully cut out a front window, climbed in, and made off with...

Ta da!!! A band saw.

That's all. Nothing else.

Can't help but wonder if this theft was connected to the one where a thief broke in and stole only a large bottle of vodka. Maybe he needed the saw to cut the top off the bottle?

I love our local newspaper!

LOCAL PAPER ITEMS

As I've said before, I love our local newspaper. Especially their Crime Scene column. It's has all kinds of interesting police reports. Mostly about people hitting somebody, like an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend scuffle. Sometimes a new boyfriend/girlfriend scuffles with the ex. Sometimes a person walks up to a stranger and hits him/her for no reason.

Yesterday, the main headline said: WOMAN SAYS VODKA BOTTLE TAKEN.

How about that? Does that grab your attention? It did mine. Reading on, I discovered the woman came home to discover the bottle missing. (And here I must wonder if she discovered it missing by immediately going to the liquor cabinet or whether she had it prominently displayed for people to admire when they first came in the door.)

Strangely, her car had been moved though it was still in the driveway. (Aha! Maybe the thief had to move it to get into the house? Maybe s/he started to steal the car and decided to pick up some refreshments while there? Maybe s/he started to drive off and realized, after imbibing, that s/he wasn't sober enough to drive? Oh, so much conjecture, so few facts!)

Nothing else was gone. (Guess the thief was addicted to vodka.)

The vodka bottle was valued at eighty dollars.

Wow. Must have been some upscale brand. Or maybe it was a really big, BIG bottle.

I do love this column!

LOCAL NEWSPAPER

Have I mentioned how much I love our local paper? It gives all the hometownsy news like obituaries, wedding, festivals, fundraisers, and so forth, with the most interesting column being the crime reports. People are always walking up to strangers and hitting them, or stealing their roommate's wallet, cell phone, game box etc. or beating up on the ex-girlfriend/ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend/ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend etc. There's even  an occasional mention of national news that we don't need anyway since we get more than we can stand on Google or Yahoo or TV or whatever.

Yesterday's headline?

FORT STEWART SOLDIERS TIED TO TERROR PLOT!!!! (bold, exclamation points and caps mine)

Stunned to learn terrorists showed up so close to home, I read rhe second headline in smaller print:

Prosecutors say militia group planned to take over their base, bomb Savannah fountain!!!!! (again, bold and exclamation points mine)

Oh, the horror! Taking over Fort Stewart and...

Wait a minute. They planned to bomb a fountain? Reading on, I discovered yes, indeed, the dastards had designs on the Forsyth Park Fountain in Savannah. You know, the one featured in Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil and Forrest Gump and Cape Fear.

So they thought bombing Forrest Gump's fountain would help their cause? Hmmm.

On a more somber note, they're suspected of murdering a couple who would have revealed their plots. These people may not be exactly what I think of when I think of terrorists, but they definitely aren't good citizens. Good thing they're in custody.