Wednesday, August 29, 2012

LOCAL NEWSPAPER

Have I mentioned how much I love our local paper? It gives all the hometownsy news like obituaries, wedding, festivals, fundraisers, and so forth, with the most interesting column being the crime reports. People are always walking up to strangers and hitting them, or stealing their roommate's wallet, cell phone, game box etc. or beating up on the ex-girlfriend/ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend/ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend etc. There's even  an occasional mention of national news that we don't need anyway since we get more than we can stand on Google or Yahoo or TV or whatever.

Yesterday's headline?

FORT STEWART SOLDIERS TIED TO TERROR PLOT!!!! (bold, exclamation points and caps mine)

Stunned to learn terrorists showed up so close to home, I read rhe second headline in smaller print:

Prosecutors say militia group planned to take over their base, bomb Savannah fountain!!!!! (again, bold and exclamation points mine)

Oh, the horror! Taking over Fort Stewart and...

Wait a minute. They planned to bomb a fountain? Reading on, I discovered yes, indeed, the dastards had designs on the Forsyth Park Fountain in Savannah. You know, the one featured in Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil and Forrest Gump and Cape Fear.

So they thought bombing Forrest Gump's fountain would help their cause? Hmmm.

On a more somber note, they're suspected of murdering a couple who would have revealed their plots. These people may not be exactly what I think of when I think of terrorists, but they definitely aren't good citizens. Good thing they're in custody.

4 comments:

  1. See? You can write mystery. Life is stranger than fiction anyway.

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  2. Bombing Forrest Gump's fountain?

    Come on, fellows, aim higher. Find a way to go back in time and stop Winston Groom from writing the original book in the first place. That would be a service to humanity....

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    1. Now now, William! Think of all that money made from the movie and its byproducts! Of course Winston Groom never made much off it, if I remember correctly.

      But the soldiers...Is this the level of enlistees to which we're had to resort for our army? Can this bode any good for our homeland defense? Hmmm. Actually...

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