LOCAL CRIME ITEMS

Again we have a list of criminal activities taking place in our fair city. As always, there were traffic stops netting drugs and catching people with outstanding warrants. Domestic violence incidents and stolen vehicles show up, too. And there were some attempted burglaries where the burglar alarm frightened the crooks away.

A driver's bad headlight led to police stopping him. He got out and fled, scattering items as he ran. (These people watch too much TV!) The items turned out to be marijuana and naturally, he got caught.

A couple of brothers got into a fight over a video game controller and one pulled a knife on the other. Cut him, too. Luckily, the injury wasn't serious but the kniife-wielder got carted off. (Did I say these people watch too much TV?)

A thief who failed was the shoplifter accosted by security guards. He pulled a knife and escaped. Immediate police work turned him up a few blocks away and he was arrested. He might have made it if he hadn't tried to escape on a bicycle. (Bet he didn't get that idea from TV! He must have thought of it all by himself!)

And there is the case of a streetwalker getting into a car to ply her trade. When the astonished driver asked what she was doing, she told him not to worry because she wasn't a cop. They proceeded to make a deal before the driver arrested her. Turns out he was a cop. (Bad luck, eh?)

Words fail me.

LOCAL CRIMES

Our local newspaper's crime column appears occasionally, sharing items from different police reports. The latest one features the usual: an arrest for an outstanding warrant, a robbery, a K9 unit sniffing out a suspect, etc.

As sometimes happens, there were a couple of interesting ones. An SUV hit a utility pole, and its driver got out and ran off. Strangely, he came back later. And got cited for breaking several laws. Bet he wouldn't have come back if he'd known the cops were still around!

Then a man used a BB gun to take another man's iPhone 4S. He tossed the gun as he got away. A BB gun? A 4S iPhone? Surely he could have waited for a later model to come along!

Then police responded to a call from a store about a man trying to fight another customer. The aggravator ignored attempts to calm him down. So police used a stun gun on him. That'll teach him not to lose his temper!

And we had a person performing a lewd act while watching a sporting event at a park. Several people saw him so he was arrested. Wonder what he was...No. No, I don't even want to imagine!

Love our local newspaper! It's fascinating to see what people get up to!

LOCAL NEWS

Looking at our local paper the past week, our crime blotter had a couple of strange things.

A truck had its passenger side window broken. The owner's wife's purse was taken, containing her Honduras ID and a social security card. I guess the SS card was because she was working here?

Another case found the cops being called out to investigate loud music. They said they could hear the music a block away. Since they were on foot, they found a man rolling a cigarette in his car...with marijuana. Bet he wished the partiers had turned their music down.

Finally, a man got sick in a store and stumbled out to a nearby porch to go to sleep. When a policeman woke him, he was confrontational. So they got him for carrying four bottles of vanilla extract??? Ah, but the vanilla extract was 41% alcohol. Guess that's why he was confrontational.

Not in the crime blotter, but a front page article told about our local library getting its table and chairs back. Our two local libraries were in a system with several counties till last year. After requesting audits of the system's funds and not getting a response, our county withdrew from the system and set up our own. We also kicked the system's director out of our main library (which had been the system's headquarters). She sued to stay longer but lost. When she moved out (without allowing anyone to see what she took), she made off with monies that belonged to us along with a historic table and chairs presented to our library many, many years ago from a coastal mansion.

After more heated discussions, she finally resigned from the position head of the system now headquartered in another county. The new person in charge met with our board recently and we are indeed getting our table and chairs back. The other system also agreed to pay us the money that had been allocated to our library.

We readers are happy about that! Yes, justice sometimes prevails.

JELLYFISH SEASON GEARING UP

Yep, that's what the local paper says. Are you wondering why?

Seems it gives the shrimpers something to do when the shrimp season is over. The pay isn't too bad and it's easier than shrimping.

So who buys these netted jellyfish?

Asians! Evidently, they're crazy about them.

How do they get from here to Asia?

The jellyfish are dehydrated at some East Coast dehydrating factories (ever heard of a jellyfish dehydrating plant?) and sent overseas. There, they're rehydrated and used as...Wait for it...

Salad toppings! Ah, can't you just imagine eyeballing your salad and having it gently wave back at you.

Georgia jellyfish are much sought after because they're evidently humongus little boogers that the Asians prefer. These are cannonball jellyfish we're talking about. I've been down at the pier before and watched scores of the beautiful iridescent creatures wash under one side and go out the other with the tide.

So now there's a use for them. Good deal (though you won't catch me trying one). Season starts February 1. (Yes, there is an official jellyfish season.) Can't wait to see those shrimp boats out netting jellyfish.

What great things we learn from the local newspaper!