CRIME BLOTTER

I hope everyone duly gave thanks this past Thanksgiving Day for all their blessings. I know I did. I am especially thankful this year for our free press.

In particular, I am happy to find our new town's newspaper features a crime blotter. And sometimes there are some interesting items. Such as:

A guy tried to pass off a bad check, but the clerk had seen checks from that company before and realized it was fake. He called 911 but the would-be check casher fled before police arrived. However, he left his driver's license behind. Police got a warrant. Bet he was kicking himself for his stupidity when they picked him up!

Another man was sitting in his living room on his sofa...maybe he was reading or watching TV; I don't know...when a Ford Focus burst through the wall and knocked the resident into a coffee table. Luckily, he wasn't hurt and refused transport to the emergency room. Seems the driver was trying to park. What? How can you mistake someone's home for a parking garage?

And there was the case of a couple attending the football game, then returning home to find their house burglarized. About $5000 worth of jewelry, electronics, and clothing was stolen. And to cap it off, the refrigerator doors were left wide open! Bet all their food was spoiled.

Ah, I think this will be an interesting place to live!

CRIME BLOTTER ITEMS

Oh my! This week had some doozies in the local newspaper. There were the usual DUIs, outstanding warrants, and shoplifting charges the police dealt with, but among the more interesting items:

A "lousy" thief broke into an apartment and stole $230 made from sales of Girl Scout cookies.

Well! That...that... LOUSY thief!

A resident woke up in the middle of the night and went into his kitchen to find... A stranger was sitting at the table eating a pot pie from the freezer. Police were called and the intruder taken away,

The paper didn't say whether the pot pie had been cooked or was still frozen. I'm strangely reluctant to ask.

Someone called the police saying a couple under the bridge were "making whoopee" under a blanket. Police arrived but decided they were only huddled together under the blanket to keep warm.

??? And they decided this how???

A quick mart clerk called police about a customer who, after heating a sandwich in the microwave, left without paying for it. Police caught the suspect but watched a store videotape to find... The man had brought his own sandwich in and heated it in the store's microwave. He didn't get arrested.

And just who's going to pay for all that electricity used?

A teenager didn't like the shirt his mother put out for him to wear to school. (He let his mother choose his clothes?) Police were called as the argument got out of hand. The policeman calmed both parties down and gave the boy a ride to school.

Well. Wasn't that kid special?

Another woman called police about her son stealing her necklace. Seems he even posted pictures of himself wearing the necklace on FaceBook.

That's right. Let your close friends AND EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD see you wearing a stolen necklace. From your mother! Have you no shame? Or is it good sense you're lacking?

Sometimes the stories in these short paragraphs amaze me. Makes me glad I'm not the subject of one of them!

LOCAL CRIME ITEMS

Again we have a list of criminal activities taking place in our fair city. As always, there were traffic stops netting drugs and catching people with outstanding warrants. Domestic violence incidents and stolen vehicles show up, too. And there were some attempted burglaries where the burglar alarm frightened the crooks away.

A driver's bad headlight led to police stopping him. He got out and fled, scattering items as he ran. (These people watch too much TV!) The items turned out to be marijuana and naturally, he got caught.

A couple of brothers got into a fight over a video game controller and one pulled a knife on the other. Cut him, too. Luckily, the injury wasn't serious but the kniife-wielder got carted off. (Did I say these people watch too much TV?)

A thief who failed was the shoplifter accosted by security guards. He pulled a knife and escaped. Immediate police work turned him up a few blocks away and he was arrested. He might have made it if he hadn't tried to escape on a bicycle. (Bet he didn't get that idea from TV! He must have thought of it all by himself!)

And there is the case of a streetwalker getting into a car to ply her trade. When the astonished driver asked what she was doing, she told him not to worry because she wasn't a cop. They proceeded to make a deal before the driver arrested her. Turns out he was a cop. (Bad luck, eh?)

Words fail me.

CRIME ITEMS

Just a couple of things I found interesting last week.

In the local paper, a woman got arrested. Seems her daughter got into a fight with another girl at school and the woman went and got her daughter from school. Instead of going home, they waited outside the school for the other girl's mother to come out. Then the woman attacked the other mother.

Some role model, huh? And we wonder why the kids are like they are!

Besides the usual women/men fighting women/men items, the crime blotter reported the theft of a carton of beer. A man had it in the back of his pickup and it fell out. Before he cuold get out to recover it, someone swooped in, picked it up, and ran off.The driver didn't have a description of any suspects, the beer was never recovered, and no one was arrested.

Just fell out, eh? All by itself?  I'm wondering if he drank the beer and didn't want to admit it to his wife!

Then, as we were going up I-75 to north Georgia, traffic stopped about a mile from the High Falls exit. I mean, stopped! After a few minutes this GBI truck (made like a Brinks truck or SWAT team vehicle) came roaring up the middle of the interstate, siren blasting, and kept going. We began to inch along until, after nearly an hour, we made it to the exit and got off.

The holdup? Turns out they'd caught a mobile meth lab. Seems the driver fell asleep and ran the car off the road. So the HazMat people were out in force, doing whatever they do for several hours. Both people in the car were taken into custody.

So the driver fell asleep? While running a meth lab on Interstate 75? I would have thought he would have plenty of worries--and drugs--to keep him awake! And why I-75? Why not a barely-traveled road in the country somewhere? And a car? Couldn't he at least afford a van? He and his partner could have taken turns napping!

People are just plain crazy, aren't they?

CRIME SCENES

Either crime has been down in the past few weeks or the local paper has had more important things to report on. We did have a few incidents this week, though most of them were run-of-the-mill things 

Like eating at a restaurant. Without paying. (Customer was arrested for theft by taking.)

And like picking up something at a convenience store. Without paying. (Police found him, chased him, caught him, and arrested him.)

Also, a man and woman were arrested for fighting and children living with them were given over to custody of DFCS. (Poor babies. What chance do they have, growing up in a household where fights and arrests are the norm?)

And finally, a man hired a taxi to take him out of town to pick up a television. He then brought it home but tried to pay the taxi driver with narcotics instead of cash. When the driver refused--he wanted his money!--the man ran off. (But the police now know where he lives so wonder how long he'll be free?)

Gotta love our local paper! And our local criminals!

LOCAL CRIMES

Our local newspaper's crime column appears occasionally, sharing items from different police reports. The latest one features the usual: an arrest for an outstanding warrant, a robbery, a K9 unit sniffing out a suspect, etc.

As sometimes happens, there were a couple of interesting ones. An SUV hit a utility pole, and its driver got out and ran off. Strangely, he came back later. And got cited for breaking several laws. Bet he wouldn't have come back if he'd known the cops were still around!

Then a man used a BB gun to take another man's iPhone 4S. He tossed the gun as he got away. A BB gun? A 4S iPhone? Surely he could have waited for a later model to come along!

Then police responded to a call from a store about a man trying to fight another customer. The aggravator ignored attempts to calm him down. So police used a stun gun on him. That'll teach him not to lose his temper!

And we had a person performing a lewd act while watching a sporting event at a park. Several people saw him so he was arrested. Wonder what he was...No. No, I don't even want to imagine!

Love our local newspaper! It's fascinating to see what people get up to!

MORE CRIME BLOTTER

Love the local paper, but it's the daily crime reports I can't wait to read.

Okay, we had the report of a theft of four razor blades the other day. Now we have another report of stolen razor blades. Two packs shoplifted from a store came to a total of around ten dollars.

I'm thinking maybe people are using them to cut heroin? Or is it cocaine you cut? Not that I know anything about drugs, but really! Seems to me they could cough up ten dollars or so considering what the drugs cost!

And here's one that made me scratch my head. A man had his daughter and her boyfriend arrested after they admitted breaking into his residence and eating his chicken. Yep. Ten dollars worth. Hope it was cooked.

Then I read a little further. They also stole a blank check and cashed it for three hundred dollars.

Hey, yeah! I can see letting them have the chicken, but three hundred dollars? I'd have turned them in, too!

LOCAL CRIME SCENES

Figured it was time to talk about our local paper's crime column.

Over the weekend, we had a lot of people hitting other people for various/no reasons. Some of the hittees knew the hitters, some hitters were perfect strangers. Today's paper told about a woman being struck in the face by a man. He said she had no business being in his neighbor's house; she said she was invited. Another 'he said' 'she said' situation.

Sometimes they pull guns. Sometimes they threaten and sometimes they shoot. Yesterday an unidentified assailant shot at a car and left holes in it. No one was hurt, thank goodness.

Bikes have been taken from houses, and a lot of stores are catching shoplifters. Cosmetics, work boots, electronics, food, beer... You name it, someone wants it.

We also had someone reporting his flip flops were stolen off his porch.

Whoa! Flip flops? Who'd want to steal flip flops in this cold weather! It was 26 degrees by our outside thermometer this morning!

Makes me feel almost smart when I read about some of these criminals!