Saturday, March 4, 2017


Oh my! This week had some doozies in the local newspaper. There were the usual DUIs, outstanding warrants, and shoplifting charges the police dealt with, but among the more interesting items:

A "lousy" thief broke into an apartment and stole $230 made from sales of Girl Scout cookies.

Well! That...that... LOUSY thief!

A resident woke up in the middle of the night and went into his kitchen to find... A stranger was sitting at the table eating a pot pie from the freezer. Police were called and the intruder taken away,

The paper didn't say whether the pot pie had been cooked or was still frozen. I'm strangely reluctant to ask.

Someone called the police saying a couple under the bridge were "making whoopee" under a blanket. Police arrived but decided they were only huddled together under the blanket to keep warm.

??? And they decided this how???

A quick mart clerk called police about a customer who, after heating a sandwich in the microwave, left without paying for it. Police caught the suspect but watched a store videotape to find... The man had brought his own sandwich in and heated it in the store's microwave. He didn't get arrested.

And just who's going to pay for all that electricity used?

A teenager didn't like the shirt his mother put out for him to wear to school. (He let his mother choose his clothes?) Police were called as the argument got out of hand. The policeman calmed both parties down and gave the boy a ride to school.

Well. Wasn't that kid special?

Another woman called police about her son stealing her necklace. Seems he even posted pictures of himself wearing the necklace on FaceBook.

That's right. Let your close friends AND EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD see you wearing a stolen necklace. From your mother! Have you no shame? Or is it good sense you're lacking?

Sometimes the stories in these short paragraphs amaze me. Makes me glad I'm not the subject of one of them!


  1. Who on earth brings their own sandwich down to a shop to microwave? Is it that they don't have a microwave or toaster, or is it that they're so cheap they refuse to use appliances?

    1. I can't speculate. I just can't think about it.

  2. Once again, proof that fact can be and is stranger than fiction!

    Much stranger....

    1. Gives us writers some good ideas, though. Except when you put them in a story, critics always say, "Come on. That's too implausible. Make it more real."


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