CRIME BLOTTER

I hope everyone duly gave thanks this past Thanksgiving Day for all their blessings. I know I did. I am especially thankful this year for our free press.

In particular, I am happy to find our new town's newspaper features a crime blotter. And sometimes there are some interesting items. Such as:

A guy tried to pass off a bad check, but the clerk had seen checks from that company before and realized it was fake. He called 911 but the would-be check casher fled before police arrived. However, he left his driver's license behind. Police got a warrant. Bet he was kicking himself for his stupidity when they picked him up!

Another man was sitting in his living room on his sofa...maybe he was reading or watching TV; I don't know...when a Ford Focus burst through the wall and knocked the resident into a coffee table. Luckily, he wasn't hurt and refused transport to the emergency room. Seems the driver was trying to park. What? How can you mistake someone's home for a parking garage?

And there was the case of a couple attending the football game, then returning home to find their house burglarized. About $5000 worth of jewelry, electronics, and clothing was stolen. And to cap it off, the refrigerator doors were left wide open! Bet all their food was spoiled.

Ah, I think this will be an interesting place to live!

CRIME SCENE

Just a short blog today because I'm in the middle of moving. Yes, we are going back up to a new area in North Georgia. It'll be closer to relatives and my doctors. Much as we love our island, we're tired of 6 hour trips each way, every two or three months to get my eyes attended to. So we're moving closer.

The local paper had a few interesting items this week, besides people getting picked up for DUI or outstanding warrants.

A woman got bit on her finger when she tried to pull an attacking pit bull off her dog. Neighbors intervened and held the pit bull until Animal Control arrived.  Brave neighbors!

People called police when they saw a man punching a pregnant woman in the face. Police arrived but the woman was uncooperative. Police found she had a Florida arrest warrant out on her and would have taken her to jail except she complained of stomach pains. I'd take a hospital to jail any time!

Someone reported a man riding a lawn mower and wielding a shotgun. He was also throwing rocks. And he was drunk. He got carted off for disorderly conduct. I can't help wondering how he managed to wield a shotgun and throw rocks at the same time. 

A woman called police when she saw a man lying in her front yard. Police determined he was unconscious and intoxicated. Since he was too drunk to walk, they gave him a ride home. Hmmm. Easier for him than calling a taxi, I guess!

A man called police when he heard a loud bang. Police discovered the cause: another man was crashing his bicycle into a parked vehicle. He got arrested for DUI. So he thought he was sober enough to ride a bicycle, huh? Guess he learned different. Don't know if he got a ride home, too.

A family dispute "got physical." One sister was hitting her mother; the other sister called police. One sister was taken to jail. No problem figuring out which!

A naked man was sitting in a car in the parking lot of the local Walmart. He gave the police a false name. Unfortunately, that person was wanted for arrest by the city. His real name had no better history; it sent him to jail because of an outstanding warrant from Florida for drugs. Should have picked a better person to impersonate! 

Finally, an inmate of the jail was caught with two kinds of illegal drugs. He was in jail for felony theft and violating probation. Now added to those charges are two counts of giving drugs to inmates without the consent of the warden. Boy, he's determined to spend his life in jail, isn't he? And now I'm wondering: if the warden gives his consent, does that make dispensing drugs legal?

So that's all I have to share this week about the people I'll never understand.

CRIME BLOTTER ITEMS

Oh my! This week had some doozies in the local newspaper. There were the usual DUIs, outstanding warrants, and shoplifting charges the police dealt with, but among the more interesting items:

A "lousy" thief broke into an apartment and stole $230 made from sales of Girl Scout cookies.

Well! That...that... LOUSY thief!

A resident woke up in the middle of the night and went into his kitchen to find... A stranger was sitting at the table eating a pot pie from the freezer. Police were called and the intruder taken away,

The paper didn't say whether the pot pie had been cooked or was still frozen. I'm strangely reluctant to ask.

Someone called the police saying a couple under the bridge were "making whoopee" under a blanket. Police arrived but decided they were only huddled together under the blanket to keep warm.

??? And they decided this how???

A quick mart clerk called police about a customer who, after heating a sandwich in the microwave, left without paying for it. Police caught the suspect but watched a store videotape to find... The man had brought his own sandwich in and heated it in the store's microwave. He didn't get arrested.

And just who's going to pay for all that electricity used?

A teenager didn't like the shirt his mother put out for him to wear to school. (He let his mother choose his clothes?) Police were called as the argument got out of hand. The policeman calmed both parties down and gave the boy a ride to school.

Well. Wasn't that kid special?

Another woman called police about her son stealing her necklace. Seems he even posted pictures of himself wearing the necklace on FaceBook.

That's right. Let your close friends AND EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD see you wearing a stolen necklace. From your mother! Have you no shame? Or is it good sense you're lacking?

Sometimes the stories in these short paragraphs amaze me. Makes me glad I'm not the subject of one of them!

CRIME BLOTTER TRIVIA

Some of our local crimes this week as written up in the local paper:

A lot of shoplifting, DUIs and people calling the police for help. Several callers, police discovered, had outstanding warrants and took them in. One exasperated caller told police she would cut somebody if they didn't come quick and arrest the person she was arguing with. That person happened to be the one with an outstanding warrant so it worked out for everyone.

Don't you just love happy endings?

At some point, a call came in about a wild boar loose in the city terrorizing people. Police did indeed find a hog wandering the streets. After playing some keep-away, officers managed to corral it and take it away.

I can see the movie headline: HOGWILD IN THE CITY. And I bet someone got some sausage out of that deal!

The most interesting item concerned a prisoner being taken to the courthouse for an appearance on shoplifting charges. Though handcuffed to another prisoner, the "extremely flexible inmate" managed to slip out of his cuff, fling off his jail-issued flip-flops, and take off running barefoot. He was last seen in his jail-issue blue top and pants. That was last week and as of today (Wednesday), still hasn't been caught. The other prisoner wisely did not run off.

At least the other guy won't have escape charges added to whatever he was being tried for! As for the escapee, they're looking for him on our island. Though why he would come to an island when he has the whole state to hide in is beyond me!

SATURDAY UPDATE: The "double-jointed" prisoner was caught yesterday in his hometown. Someone turned him in for the thousand dollar reward. Can't even trust your family nowadays!

Ah, the small-town life is so exciting!

LOCAL CRIME REPORTS

Again, we have crazy criminals, dumb criminals, and unlucky criminals listed in the local paper!

Besides the usual arrests from traffic stops that turned up people with outstanding warrants, we also have a couple of offbeat items. Like a woman arrested for fighting with a man in a Waffle House. A Waffle House? Couldn't she wait till she got him home?

And then the two women who persuaded a man to take them home. But when he put them out, they decided they wanted to go somewhere else. He protested because he didn't want to be late for work. So one woman started hitting him and the other vandalized his car. The police, of course, took them away. But that didn't stop him being late for work, did it? 

The strangest one wasn't in the local crime blotter. It had its own front-page story in the newspaper. Seems this man saw a suspicious car in his neighborhood. He decided its driver was casing his house to rob it (!!!) so he got his gun, jumped into his car, and chased it down. After repeatedly motioning for the other driver to pull over, the second driver did. The armed man got out, waving his gun and terrifying the other driver. Luckily, several people had called the police and a level-headed cop talked him into putting down his gun.

Oh, did I mention the other driver was eighty-one years old and simply driving through the crazy nut's neighborhood on his way home? Yes, old people do drive slowly, but really!!!

Love the local paper!

LOCAL NEWSPAPER

Our local newspaper has gone over to the dark side: it is now published in tabloid form and size. AND, it no longer skips Sunday publication. Yes, we now have a Sunday paper delivered to our door!

Unfortunately, the Monday paper has been taken away. Yep. Vanished. Whisked away. Kaput.

"They" say it was because more customers wanted a Sunday paper than a Monday paper. I say, who did they ask?

But I won't complain. At least we still get a paper six days a week. With pretty entertaining stuff in it, too. Can't beat that!

A quick rundown on our local crime scene:

Police had to use tear gas to flush out a man screaming he wasn't going back to prison. Now he's in the local jail. But not in prison! Yet.

A woman involved in a bar fight hit the investigating policeman and got arrested. I would hope so!

A dog running loose threatened neighbors so police cited the owner. Should have sicced his dog on him!

A domestic dispute ended with the man running off but police located him, surrounded the residence he was hiding in, and arrested him for outstanding warrants. So he's done it before, eh?

And finally a man hit another man in the head with a stick. Unhappy with the outcome, he then grabbed a chair and hit the man again. Good thing there wasn't a sofa handy! The victim went to the emergency room and police tracked down the perpetrator and arrested him.

Ah, just another day in the lives of our underpaid law enforcement people.

CRIME SCENES

Either crime has been down in the past few weeks or the local paper has had more important things to report on. We did have a few incidents this week, though most of them were run-of-the-mill things 

Like eating at a restaurant. Without paying. (Customer was arrested for theft by taking.)

And like picking up something at a convenience store. Without paying. (Police found him, chased him, caught him, and arrested him.)

Also, a man and woman were arrested for fighting and children living with them were given over to custody of DFCS. (Poor babies. What chance do they have, growing up in a household where fights and arrests are the norm?)

And finally, a man hired a taxi to take him out of town to pick up a television. He then brought it home but tried to pay the taxi driver with narcotics instead of cash. When the driver refused--he wanted his money!--the man ran off. (But the police now know where he lives so wonder how long he'll be free?)

Gotta love our local paper! And our local criminals!

CRIME BLOTTER

Oh, our local paper does have such interesting tidbits! In the last few weeks:

A car veered off the road and hit a sewer lift station, causing about five thousand dollars worth of damage. It left the scene but officers tracked it down. The owner said he'd loaned it to a woman. Hmm, likely story. Wonder if there was a problem with back-up in people's houses afterward?

Another car struck a parked car, then entered a car wash and struck the guidelines of a power pole. The driver ran off but police found the car owner. He said he loans it to the man involved in the accident on a regular basis -- in exchange for crack cocaine. Don't think I'd have told that!

Then a couple kept calling 911, using different names and giving different locations. When police traced down the house, the man said the woman wasn't there. Police found her hiding in a closet. The item said both appeared intoxicated. You think?

And this weird one: a man cut his hand on some glass and started spreading his blood on the walls and windows of a local business. Wonder if he broke the glass trying to rob the place?

Finally, someone broke into a man's apartment and stole a Templar sword and shield along with an art deco bronze statue, for a total worth of about three thousand dollars. Won't it be hard to fence something like that?

Just the usual interesting crime items. Our part of the country is never dull!

MORE CRIME BLOTTER

This wasn't from our local paper but another county reported on a man ticketed for eating while driving. The policeman followed him for two miles watching him eat a double-Mac before citing him under Georgia's distracted driver law: "You just can't go down the street eating a hamburger." Looks to me like they ought to be after people on cell phones!

A woman and man got to arguing while riding in a car. At a red light, she grabbed the car key, and they got into a fight that attracted a crowd. Both got arrested. !

A shoplifter tried to steal Tide Pods. Guess he needed clean clothes.

A woman called police because she was being harassed by her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. The situation heightened after her ex and she exchanged lengthy texts about him being in town for the holidays. Hmmm. Maybe the new girlfriend needs to make him her ex, too!

After being warned once about calming down during an argument with their mother, two sisters got arrested for running around her house, beating on windows and doors while their kids were inside. I'd be hiding, too!

A man punched his boyfriend in the face while he was asleep. The boyfriend called 911 for help; then the man called 911 back and said they were no longer needed. The cops showed up anyway. Seems the boyfriend had called another man "cute" on FaceBook which precipitated the argument leading up to the punch. When the boyfriend pressed charges, the police started to carry the suspect away but he fell to the ground, screaming he didn't want to go to jail. No kidding!

Two 'friends' were arrested. The out-of-town visitor vomited in his host's hallway after a night of drinking, then fell asleep. His host woke him up, yelling that he needed to clean up after himself. That led to a big fight where someone's head got rammed into the sheetrock. Ugh! I'd have been yelling, too!

Finally, a policeman reported someone broke the window on his police cruiser and stole several things: a police ID and two pistol magazines along with the policeman's driver's license and credit cards. Other personal items taken were cash and a gift card. Not even a police car is safe!

I love our local paper!

CRIME BLOTTER

There haven't been too many crime reports in our newspaper the past few weeks. Maybe there hasn't been as much crime. Or maybe too many big headline stories have overshadowed the local stuff.

But we have had a few in the last couple of days, some of them dealing with food.

Seems a woman went into a store with her own cup, filled it from the soft drink dispenser, then lifted a pack of peanuts. While she ate and drank in the store, the clerk saw her and had her arrested. Don't know why she didn't sneak them out before consuming them. She might have got away with it.

Although in another store, a woman--I hope it wasn't the same one!--picked up a candy bar and hid it before trying to leave. She didn't get away with it. One candy bar's worth getting arrested? Even if it was a large KitKat, I don't see it.

In a different vein, a woman came out to her car parked downtown to find the rear window broken. She thought a bullet had damaged it. The item didn't say whether or not it was, but the possibility sure makes me not want to go downtown!

And finally, a man came into the hospital with a gunshot wound in his hand. He was hazy as to the location of his 'accident' and said the 9 mm gun fired after he'd taken out the magazine and was trying to extract the chambered bullet. Naturally, he had no idea where the gun was. He got reported to the Violent Crimes Unit anyway. Wonder if that had anything to do with the shattered car window?

And while it wasn't in the crime section, a rabid fox terrorized a neighborhood yesterday. It bit two people and a dog and rampaged for a couple hours before the husband of one of the victims shot it. Now people are asking why police or the DNR didn't respond to their 911 call. I'd like to know that, too. Good thing the husband knew how to shoot.

CRIME BLOTTER

I can't resist talking about the crime column in the local paper. It's the first thing I turn to every morning, and today we have several strange items.

There was the usual:

$3000 trailer stolen, along with its contents worth $2000.

Someone arrested for taking food worth $13.

A man arrested for stuffing merchandise into his pockets. The attempted theft led to a confrontation with police in the store. He resisted arrest and got tasered. For $15 worth of goods.

More interesting items included this one:

Two women had an argument via FaceBook that led to one woman going over to the other woman's house. Some kind of physical confrontation occurred. Both women reported being punched in the face by the other. Looks like words really can hurt you!

And the last:

A man reported his girlfriend kicked him in the head. Seems he suspected she'd stolen $40 worth of his prescription drugs. When he went for her purse to search, she kicked him with her foot. Since the foot was in a temporary cast, I suspect it hurt!

Ah, another busy day for our crime reporters! Love our local newspaper!

CRIME SCENE

I love our local paper, not least because it gives a list of the crimes reported in the county. Yesterday I had to shake my head in disbelief.

This guy saw someone beating up on a woman in an apartment complex parking lot. He rushed into the fray and pulled the man off the woman. The man started beating up on him but finally ran away. The police came.

Turns out the woman knew who her attacker was but refused to press charges. So now the attacker is free to come back and beat up on her some more.

Are we raising stupid people or what?

MORE LOCAL CRIME

The crime blotter keeps enthralling me. Today a couple of women heard a bunch of people outside their home and came out to see what was happening. A man struck both in the face, but neither woman knew the man's name.

And another woman had her car window broken. The pregnant woman suspects another woman pregnant by the same man. Evidently, she knew the second pregnant woman's name but still, no arrests were made.

Ah, this is as good as a soap opera. Our local newspaper can't give up its print version! These things just wouldn't read the same on the computer!

As an aside, we're off on our travels tomorrow so won't check in for a few days. Birmingham, here we come!

JELLYFISH SEASON GEARING UP

Yep, that's what the local paper says. Are you wondering why?

Seems it gives the shrimpers something to do when the shrimp season is over. The pay isn't too bad and it's easier than shrimping.

So who buys these netted jellyfish?

Asians! Evidently, they're crazy about them.

How do they get from here to Asia?

The jellyfish are dehydrated at some East Coast dehydrating factories (ever heard of a jellyfish dehydrating plant?) and sent overseas. There, they're rehydrated and used as...Wait for it...

Salad toppings! Ah, can't you just imagine eyeballing your salad and having it gently wave back at you.

Georgia jellyfish are much sought after because they're evidently humongus little boogers that the Asians prefer. These are cannonball jellyfish we're talking about. I've been down at the pier before and watched scores of the beautiful iridescent creatures wash under one side and go out the other with the tide.

So now there's a use for them. Good deal (though you won't catch me trying one). Season starts February 1. (Yes, there is an official jellyfish season.) Can't wait to see those shrimp boats out netting jellyfish.

What great things we learn from the local newspaper!

LOCAL CRIME NEWS

Noticed where one woman hit another with her coffee mug. There was a witness so the suspect got arrested.  The coffee must really have been bad.

And someone broke into a house yesterday. They carefully cut out a front window, climbed in, and made off with...

Ta da!!! A band saw.

That's all. Nothing else.

Can't help but wonder if this theft was connected to the one where a thief broke in and stole only a large bottle of vodka. Maybe he needed the saw to cut the top off the bottle?

I love our local newspaper!

LOCAL PAPER ITEMS

As I've said before, I love our local newspaper. Especially their Crime Scene column. It's has all kinds of interesting police reports. Mostly about people hitting somebody, like an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend scuffle. Sometimes a new boyfriend/girlfriend scuffles with the ex. Sometimes a person walks up to a stranger and hits him/her for no reason.

Yesterday, the main headline said: WOMAN SAYS VODKA BOTTLE TAKEN.

How about that? Does that grab your attention? It did mine. Reading on, I discovered the woman came home to discover the bottle missing. (And here I must wonder if she discovered it missing by immediately going to the liquor cabinet or whether she had it prominently displayed for people to admire when they first came in the door.)

Strangely, her car had been moved though it was still in the driveway. (Aha! Maybe the thief had to move it to get into the house? Maybe s/he started to steal the car and decided to pick up some refreshments while there? Maybe s/he started to drive off and realized, after imbibing, that s/he wasn't sober enough to drive? Oh, so much conjecture, so few facts!)

Nothing else was gone. (Guess the thief was addicted to vodka.)

The vodka bottle was valued at eighty dollars.

Wow. Must have been some upscale brand. Or maybe it was a really big, BIG bottle.

I do love this column!

LOCAL NEWSPAPER

Have I mentioned how much I love our local paper? It gives all the hometownsy news like obituaries, wedding, festivals, fundraisers, and so forth, with the most interesting column being the crime reports. People are always walking up to strangers and hitting them, or stealing their roommate's wallet, cell phone, game box etc. or beating up on the ex-girlfriend/ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend/ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend etc. There's even  an occasional mention of national news that we don't need anyway since we get more than we can stand on Google or Yahoo or TV or whatever.

Yesterday's headline?

FORT STEWART SOLDIERS TIED TO TERROR PLOT!!!! (bold, exclamation points and caps mine)

Stunned to learn terrorists showed up so close to home, I read rhe second headline in smaller print:

Prosecutors say militia group planned to take over their base, bomb Savannah fountain!!!!! (again, bold and exclamation points mine)

Oh, the horror! Taking over Fort Stewart and...

Wait a minute. They planned to bomb a fountain? Reading on, I discovered yes, indeed, the dastards had designs on the Forsyth Park Fountain in Savannah. You know, the one featured in Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil and Forrest Gump and Cape Fear.

So they thought bombing Forrest Gump's fountain would help their cause? Hmmm.

On a more somber note, they're suspected of murdering a couple who would have revealed their plots. These people may not be exactly what I think of when I think of terrorists, but they definitely aren't good citizens. Good thing they're in custody.

ITEM FROM LOCAL PAPER

Our police blotter is great. I love reading about all the strange people.

Police were called to a home where one man said another man stole something of his. The accused man said that the accuser, his brother, stole something of his first. Their mother said she was tired of dealing with her sons and wanted them both to move out of her house.

Don't know what happened but I don't think anybody got arrested. It's bad when your own mother throws you out!

Local Paper

We have the most wonderful local paper. It has a police blotter column that's worth the price.

Yesterday, an item was about a woman who called police because she woke up with her pants off and a cut on her hand. She said she invited this man over for drinks, and they got to hugging and kissing, and then she 'went unconscious.' When she woke up her pants were off and she had a cut on her hand that was bleeding.

The man said he took her pants off, but he didn't know anything about the cut on her hand.

Her hand was treated. I guess no one was arrested.

I love this newspaper!