Saturday, November 1, 2014


Not much going on the past few weeks, but a few items caught my eye.

A man was arrested after punching a hole in an outside door column. His pregnant girlfriend said he never got physical with her but the damages amounted to about $500. If I was her, I wouldn't give him a chance to get physical with me ever again.

Someone siphoned 80 gallons of fuel from three different trucks owned by a business. Guess the thief's vehicle was bigger than all three trucks put together.

An employee saw two men loading up two 50-inch flat screen TVs they'd stolen. A responding officer tried to pull over the SUV but they jumped a curb and led police on a 2.1 mile chase until heavy rain forced the officers to call it off. Wimps!

Two karaoke speakers stored next to their owner's home were stolen. Maybe his singing was like, really bad?

Residents reported hearing gunshots in two different locations. A responding officer thought he heard shots at the first location that sounded like an automatic weapon, but shots at the second location sounded like they came from a semi-automatic weapon. No casings or damage were found in either location. I don't think I could tell one kind of weapon from another by their booms. I wonder if they're sure it wasn't backfire.

A regular customer told a bank teller he was going to kidnap her the next Friday, and for her to pack a bathing suit because they were going on an airplane to an island. The teller called the police. Wonder why I never get threats like that? Oh, wait! I live on an island already!

A woman reported a man stole $320 from her purse while she ran into a store to get a drink. When she got back, he jumped out of her vehicle and drove off in a green truck. Oh, and she didn't know the man; she was just giving him a ride. Wonder what kind of drink she was getting.

Another woman reported a man wearing a white shirt woke her up in her bedroom by grabbing her right shoulder. She started screaming and fought him off. She tried to run out of the bedroom into the living room but the door wouldn't open so she crawled out a window and watched the front door of her house. No one ever came out, but her boyfriend, who was asleep in the bed with her--all through this! Hmmm-- had to unlock the front door to get out and find help. She later told police she often sees dead people but this man was real. Because he touched her, and she never feels the spirits touch her. I wonder if she'd got her some drinks with the woman above.

And saved for the last: A man reported someone took 18 Viagra pills from his house. He suspected it was one of the men who'd recently done some work on his home. Police contacted the work crew, but they all denied stealing any pills. No kidding! Who'd expect them to admit it?


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