Sunday, May 10, 2015

CRIME COLUMN

So we had some more weird crimes reported in the local newspaper this past week: I can't help but love this paper!

First some mundane reports:

A man's ex live-in boyfriend pushed and grabbed him, then yelled at him. Maybe the ex was trying to make up.

Someone rented some stuff, then pawned it. Tsk, tsk!

A woman's daughter hit her with a cup, leaving a cut on her finger. The daughter got arrested under the family violence law. Seems she was also on probation. Wonder what she was on probation for. Assault with a coffee pot?

Another person paid an employee of a business she'd used. Only he wasn't an employee after all. I'd take the money if someone handed it to me, too!

A man refused to leave the premises after he'd been served--guess it was a restaurant?--and police had to use a stun gun to get him out. Goodness. Looks like once he got what he wanted, he would have been happy to escape.

When children hit a parked car with their kickball, the owner came out and swore. Complaints about his cursing brought the police. What? Nobody called them about the rowdy children?

A man and woman were arrested for stealing tile from a house being renovated. Police caught the woman inside, but the man ran off to a nearby business and hid. Inside the bathroom. Looks like he found himself a comfortable hide-out! Wonder if he took a magazine or book in with him.

Then some strange items:

A man complained of harassment by his drug dealer. Seems he owed the dealer money for crack cocaine. And he told this to the police?

When chickens in town made too much noise, someone called authorities. Their owner was given a warning  Guess there's no fowl play law in the city!

A couple got in an argument while cooking and someone called police, but it ended peaceably when the man walked out. Seems they had been arguing over the best way to fix chicken. Heck, if my guy said anything to me about my cooking, I'd turn the stove over to him!

I can't help but wonder if these last two problems can possibly be connected. Noisy chickens; chicken for dinner. Hmm?





6 comments:

  1. Weird, weird, weird. Your mention of the woman paying a guy who didn't turn out to be the employee of a shop reminds me of something I did. A couple of kids were waiting outside a convenience store some years ago, asked if I'd buy them cartons of cigarettes. They gave me a hundred. I walked in, asked the clerk if there was a back door out, told him the kids out front were trying to get me to buy them smokes and I wanted to teach them a very hard lesson. He set me out the back door and I got away with a hundred easy dollars. I'd have loved to see their faces when they realized their help wasn't coming back out with the smokes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah, William. How mean. But I bet they did learn from experience!

      Delete
  2. Don't your just love small town newspapers.
    But I enjoy your running comments the best.
    William best story ever !

    cheers, parsnip

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love reading about stupid criminals!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Makes me glad someone is dumber than me!

      Delete

Thanks for commenting!