CRIME BLOTTER ITEMS

Okay, the usual from the local paper today.

A woman needed underwear and took a hundred dollars worth from the store without paying. She was arrested. (Wonder if she was wearing it. Hope they didn't restock it.)

A man was cold and stole a $250 leather jacket from another man. He was not apprehended. (Guess he's pretty warm today. Bet the owner's cold.)

A woman reported someone took $4000--yep, four thousand dollars--worth of sterling silver utensils from her residence. (Who in the world has that many silver utensils in their home? And why?)

Finally, a man stole four rib-eye steaks from a grocery store, value $67.  He was arrested. (Wonder if it was before or after he ate the steaks. Wonder if his guests knew they were eating stolen steaks. Wonder why he didn't pick up some T-bones. Wonder if he'll have to replace the steaks.)

Oh, my. This kind of reporting leads to endless conjecture. Give us the facts! All of them!

ONE MORE COMPLAINT ABOUT THE CATS

It's not only litter my cats are finicky about. They seem to have taken up my entire life.

My daily schedule:

Seven a.m. - (sometimes as early as five if they've consumed all the dry food) - one or both start meowing for breakfast. Loudly.

I get up, replenish the dry food and put ice water in their fountain (yes, they demand ice cubes in their water).

Next, I fix their canned food. This means mincing the meat (and this is the ground kind, not the flakes or shreds or morsels) into even smaller pieces on two plates. If the can's been in the fridge, I must microwave the food for a few seconds. I then mound the minced food up on each plate before putting them down. At that time, I forcefully direct the boy cat to his dish since he always tries to eat the girl cat's food first.

Then the litter boxes need tending, including a sweep of the floor since my girl cat tends to get exuberant when she's in her bathroom and tosses litter everywhere.

Then back to the food dishes. Any food that's left gets mounded up on one plate for the boy cat. He likes to come back later and dig into a new pile of food.

About one p.m., the boy cat starts meowing. Persistently. It's time for his nap and he doesn't like to nap alone. Most days, I'll lie down with him on my bed for about an hour. Sometimes the girl cat joins us. If I'm busy and can't nap, I put her on the bed with him. If she stays, that will keep him quiet. If she doesn't, he ends up in my lap, squirming as I try to work on the computer.

About five p.m., the girl cat starts meowing again. She's quite vocal when it comes to meal times. So I go through the same thing as in the morning, except they take a stool softener before eating--yes, you read it right--to keep them regular. (Hey, they're old and have problems!) They learned how to hide the pills in their mouths until they got out of sight where they could spit them out. So I have to buy broth, and not the kind with celery and carrots but the unadulterated, expensive broth, to mix their powder in. They love this and lap it up eagerly. Sure beats using a syringe to force it down their throats.

At night, they don't sleep with us much any more, thank goodness. When the girl cat sleeps with us, she gets between my knees and I can't turn over. Lately, they've been staying in their cat bed or on the sofa where I've laid one of my dirty shirts to entice them to curl up.

And that's my routine.

This can't be natural. Surely, every cat owner doesn't cater to their cats like this. I must have trained them wrong, but it's too late to change them now. Guess I'm stuck till they kick the bucket.

CATS AND THEIR LITTER

I have finicky cats when it comes to their bathroom habits. They want their litter clean.

If it isn't up to her standards, my girl cat sometimes uses the floor next to the box. Even an extra litter box doesn't help if it isn't clean.

I usually feed them in the mornings, then scoop their litter. I was running behind the other morning, putting some dishes up that had been in the dishwasher overnight, and heard a "meow." She was sitting in the door of the utility room where their litter boxes are, looking at me.

"Hold on. I'll be with you in a minute."

"Meow!"

"Just wait a minute!"

"MEOWL!"

Only it sounded like "MY LITTER!" And she looked quite huffy. Like she was about to spit.

So I gave up, cleaned the litter box; she got in and did her business.

Not even a thank you.

Ungrateful cat. At least it wasn't on the floor.

POST VALENTINE'S DAY, CAN SPRING BE FAR BEHIND?

I'm tired of all the cold weather and I know a lot of other people are, too. Those ice and snow pictures everyone keeps posting are bad enough. But those people on FB talking about power outages are the ones I feel for.

Not to brag, but the temps down here are back in the sixties and I'm so happy! I'm ready to be able to get our and enjoy the sunshine without feeling that chill breeze down my back.

We went for a walk and found this harbinger of spring in a neighbor's yard. (At least, I hope it's a harbinger.) A tulip tree blooming. Isn't it pretty?

MORE CRIME BLOTTER

Love the local paper, but it's the daily crime reports I can't wait to read.

Okay, we had the report of a theft of four razor blades the other day. Now we have another report of stolen razor blades. Two packs shoplifted from a store came to a total of around ten dollars.

I'm thinking maybe people are using them to cut heroin? Or is it cocaine you cut? Not that I know anything about drugs, but really! Seems to me they could cough up ten dollars or so considering what the drugs cost!

And here's one that made me scratch my head. A man had his daughter and her boyfriend arrested after they admitted breaking into his residence and eating his chicken. Yep. Ten dollars worth. Hope it was cooked.

Then I read a little further. They also stole a blank check and cashed it for three hundred dollars.

Hey, yeah! I can see letting them have the chicken, but three hundred dollars? I'd have turned them in, too!

NEW BOOK OUT

My sequel to TAXED TO THE MAX is now available from Amazon. Ebook only right now but in a few days, the print copy will be out too. And if you buy the print copy, you can get the ebook version free.

Not sure why anyone would want both but anyway, that's the deal.

Here's the cover for OVERTAXED AND UNDERAPPRECIATED. Collin Beishir designed it, using one of the pix my guy took in Old Town. Pretty, isn't it?

And here's the link on Amazon if anyone's interested. http://www.amazon.com/Overtaxed-Underappreciated-Cheryl-B-Dale-ebook/dp/B00I25JU9C/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1391961620&sr=8-1&keywords=overtaxed+and+underappreciated

Whee! I see I have a review! That's exciting since I don't get many! And it's a good one!

CATS AND ALARM CLOCKS

I had an early appointment yesterday that meant setting my alarm early. The cats came staggering out, wondering what was going on. But, game little things they are, they waited patiently to see if I intended to put out food or if they needed to go back to bed.

So this morning, guess who forgot to turn off the alarm. This time, there was no staggering out. This time cats rushed into the bedroom with strident demands for food. "Meow-eat! Meow-eat! Me-now!"

When I fumbled with the alarm and tried to go back to sleep, one got up in the bed  and stared.

The other one--it's hard for him to climb up in our high bed--mewled piteously while pacing around the room.

I really need to check that alarm so it won't go off tomorrow.