CRIME BLOTTER ITEMS

Okay, the usual from the local paper today.

A woman needed underwear and took a hundred dollars worth from the store without paying. She was arrested. (Wonder if she was wearing it. Hope they didn't restock it.)

A man was cold and stole a $250 leather jacket from another man. He was not apprehended. (Guess he's pretty warm today. Bet the owner's cold.)

A woman reported someone took $4000--yep, four thousand dollars--worth of sterling silver utensils from her residence. (Who in the world has that many silver utensils in their home? And why?)

Finally, a man stole four rib-eye steaks from a grocery store, value $67.  He was arrested. (Wonder if it was before or after he ate the steaks. Wonder if his guests knew they were eating stolen steaks. Wonder why he didn't pick up some T-bones. Wonder if he'll have to replace the steaks.)

Oh, my. This kind of reporting leads to endless conjecture. Give us the facts! All of them!